Identity Issues by Claudia Whitsitt

Author:Claudia Whitsitt
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
ISBN: 9781936724192
Publisher: Blue Jay Media
Published: 2012-12-01T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twenty–Two

AT 4:45 A.M. I slid out of bed without waking Jon. Even in the dim reflection of the night light, I could see that my attractiveness quotient had dwindled in the few hours I’d spent sleeping. The bags under my eyes cast a purple glow in the oval mirror above the sink. I brushed my teeth, threw on a sweatshirt over my pajama top, slipped on my flip flops, slung my backpack over my shoulders, and kissed Jon on the cheek as I headed out. I needed a morning swim more than ever today.

I’d decided to afford myself this small treat, swimming with my colleagues, since Jon was in town. We showed up in the school lot at 5:45 a.m. this morning, all still in our pj’s. No friendly banter, just grumbling and moaning as we approached the school’s entrance. I unlocked the door with my stolen master key, reset the antiquated building alarm, and we stumbled down the long, dark hall. Just the emergency lights illuminated our path. This allowed us to remain in our early morning stupor for a few minutes longer, before we took the plunge into the seventy degree water.

Chlorine had been my high of choice for years. Swimming created euphoria in me that I didn’t get from much else. All those studies about the effects of exercise and the releasing of endorphins proved true. I pulled on my lap suit, tugged my cap down over my ears, fit my goggles into place, and dove in. The steady freestyle soothed the tumult in my mind. I focused on my stroke, scraping the bowl as I lifted my elbow up and over in a fluid movement. My breathing became even and regular. A new woman after thirty minutes, a hot shower further soothed me as I chatted with my swim buddies.

"So, Stitsill, what are you up to this summer?" Cathy Hall, the counselor, asked.

"Not much. Just the same old. Going to play the role of a single mom and love it."

"I don’t know how you do it, Sam. Hell, when Pete’s gone just for a couple of days, I can hardly cope." She passed me the shampoo, and I scrubbed my head for a few extra minutes.

"It’s a lifestyle I thought I could handle. We developed a system that seemed to work for us, but lately I can’t seem to keep up my end."

"What do you mean?" She cocked her head and her expression invited me to pour out my soul to her.

"Let’s save that conversation for another day, and over a few beers. Good news is, my in–laws will take the kids to the cottage with them for a few weeks. Maybe then I’ll have the chance to recharge." I rinsed the suds from my hair and wrapped a ratty beach towel around my dripping body. Anxious to get down the hall and speak to Jack before the kids arrived, I left her standing in the shower. I needed counseling, but not the kind Cathy could provide.

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